"These alterations can include: a sense that self or the world is unreal (depersonalization and derealization); a loss of memory (amnesia); forgetting identity or assuming a new self (fugue); and fragmentation of identity or self into separate streams of consciousness (dissociative identity disorder, formerly termed multiple personality disorder) ( Read more... )

GYM: Short, because I had a very small window of time in which to get ready for work before I had to leave for the dance class. Frustratingly today was the day when the gym was mysteriously quiet, and I could have done a whole tonne of shit, but I limited myself to the machines/equipment I don't usually get to access on a work week (pulley barbells ( Read more... )

if i wrote about my experiences as fiction no one would want to read. i mean, no one wants to read what i write anyway, but they would not be interested. not because the events are uninteresting or i can't tell an anecdote, just that i have no inner life ( Read more... )

I am narked at myself in about six different ways and also confused.

ConfusionI've become better at catching my brain when it's doing nutso things instead of letting it get away with shit behind the curtain and claim that it's being perfectly rational. Sometimes it tries to funnel my thoughts away from that, so it ends up being a case that I know ( Read more... )

I now understand why my anorexic friend at university was so obsessed with strawberries. For something that filling and that delicious, they contain surprisingly little in the way way of calories ( Read more... )

Well I sure haven't checked my flist in a while, whoops ( Read more... )

Conversation with borderline friend to confirm the "I decide that [X, a physical or mental symptom] doesn't real because I have told someone about it or am thinking about telling people about it or have acknowledged it and am therefore only doing it for attention" trait is a BPD one ( Read more... )

second t shot was accompanied by blood everywhere because opc ampules remain not my friend; i feel immediately better, suggesting that dr l was already right about the testosterone withdrawal in week four of the cycle (ugh); i have resigned myself to the fact that my ass is going to develop an enormous bruise every time. there's a fucking duck egg ( Read more... )

Man I hate being right allllll the time ( Read more... )

Amazingly if you tell your therapist you'd been considering quitting AND that you've been contemplating both suicide and self-harm and subject to some unpleasant intrusive mantras of late he will be quite concerned and take a fairly gentle approach instead of telling you off, which was what I'd expected ( Read more... )